Extra chromosome...extra special

It all began November 2016 when I found out I was pregnant....

It was a very big shock to us, something we did not plan for, especially in that time. Everything changed when we went for our first visit to the gynecologist. That little miracle on the sonar would change our lives forever.

Fast forwarding to my 12 week visit, we did the routine blood tests that you are supposed to when pregnant. A week later while we were on a trip for our second anniversary, we received a phone call from the doctor that changed our lives forever. The blood tests came back and according to my age I was a very high risk for having a baby with Down syndrome. My chances were 1 out of 35, the highest for women of my age. We had two options to consider. I could get a amniocentesis that would confirm if it was Down syndrome or not, or I could just carry on with the pregnancy and find out when our baby was born. My husband and I went through a lot of emotions that day, not knowing how to feel or what to do. Luckily for us we visited my family thereafter and their support meant a lot to us.

A million things went through my mind. Do I leave everything and just carry on with the pregnancy or do I go for the amniocentesis and know for sure? Then I thought "but what if it is positive, then we would have to decide what we have to do next". Perfectionist that I am, my husband and I decided to do the amniocentesis, at least then we would know for sure and can plan forward. Honestly, the whole time we kept telling ourselves it would not happen to us, we are too young, everything will be ok.

January came and I went for the amniocentesis. The next few weeks were the longest time in my life. Five weeks later I went for a routine check-up just to be told that the results still have not arrived.

An hour after my appointment on my way to visit my mother, the doctor phoned and said the results came back from the lab. My heart was pounding outside my chest I prayed please Lord let it be good news. “They have no result for your test. They could not complete your test correctly, something went wrong”. I didn’t know what to say, I just started crying. Why was this happening to me? Why is everything going wrong? What are we going to do now? The doctor just kept on apologizing and told me that he will make sure this is not the end of this, but he encouraged us that we had to focus on what to do next. We had little time left as I was 22 weeks pregnant. The options were simple: go on with the pregnancy without knowing or do another amniocentesis that would go to a different lab which will only take 4 days for the results to come back.

Again after many emotions, fighting with myhusband and the labs we decide that I would go for another amniocentesis that Monday.

Monday came and I went through with the whole procedure again...

The next few days felt like weeks. I just kept on praying that God will be with us when the results came and that everything would be ok.

Friday morning just past 8 my phone rang, again my heart pounded outside of my chest: it is the doctor. “I am very sorry mam, the results came back. It is positive: your baby girl has Down syndrome”. I remember just standing there so shocked that I couldn’t get a word out. “I really am sorry mam”.

I asked the doctor what do we do onward and what are our options? He told me that we could continue with the pregnancy or go for an abortion, but if we did consider the abortion we did not have a lot of time left to decide as I was so far along already. I put down the phone and immediately phoned my husband with the news. I could hear his whole life came crashing down...

At that time I did not work in our hometown so I asked him to meet me at my niece’s house which was halfway for both of us.

That afternoon we came together and talked about our options. We cried, we fought because we did not agree on everything and most of all we were just so mad. How could this happens to us? Why? Did we do something wrong? Will we be able to give her the best life? What is the best life for her?

The rest of the afternoon went into research about Down syndrome and the lives of people having Down syndrome. Exhausted I just started praying and praying and praying. I asked God to help us make the right decision.

"Please Lord just give us a sign". It is after all the biggest gift from Him. I asked Him to be with us and to show us what to do, to show us the plan He had for us as a family. That night I cried and prayed myself to sleep. The next morning I got a message from a lady that worked with me. Please keep in mind that nobody at my workplace knew what was going on with my pregnancy, just our family and closest friends. In the message she said that while she was busy with her morning Bible study God told her to tell me the following. She said "He says that He sees your pain and your sadness but He wants you to know that He is with you". She said that He has given our daughter to us as a gift and that no matter what, we should keep her as He is with us every step of the way.

She also gave me the scripture Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as the prophet to the nations”. Just then and there I knew this was the sign I asked God to give us and I went straight to my husband to tell him. Before I could say anything he looked at me and told me he was sorry about everything and that we should keep our baby daughter, he knows we will be able to give her the best life she deserves.

Stunned, I just stood there and handed him my phone with the message on. Tears were rolling from his eyes. Right then, right there I knew we served the most almighty God who is always there for us and looks out for us. We are so loved.

And besides... what is your definition of the word "normal"?

The best gift ever was born on June 6 2016, a healthy baby girl who weighed 3.15kg and was 50cm long. She instantly latched at breastfeeding and had no complications. Today 10 months later I look back at everything we went through and just look up to God and smile. She exceeded both our and the doctors expectations from the day she was born. Always smiley, very strong & healthy and reaches all her milestones on time. She brings so much fulfillment and happiness to us and everybody she comes in contact with.

She truly is sent from above and I know that the Lord has big plans for her.

To every mom out there struggling with something similar, always remember. You are good enough for your children; you can and will give them the best life possible. Everything is possible with God by your side.

Much Love

Yolandé Fourie